Weekly Update

I'm always trying a new format on this blog, but I figure I started this blog and I can be as inconsistent as I want. Okay, here's my week in a nutshell.
Let me start off by saying I think this was the longest week in history. Some sort of equinox or something, hell I don't know.
Monday
Well, Mondays are Mondays so there's not a lot to say here. Oh wait, I forgot. My husband DJ had a hard time sleeping thusly making Monday morning more craptastic than usual. He's six feet and 240 pounds. His side of the bed consists of either the middle, or from one corner to the other.
Tuesday
I finally get organized enough to get Byron back to wrestling practice. I took him sporadically at best in December and frankly not at all in January. It starts at 6:00. I get off work, pick up the boys at daycare and drive precariously down Western street while Byron changes clothes in the back seat. We arrive at ten til 6 only to find both of the doors to the gym are locked. Well, of course they are because we're ten minutes early. Well, at five after when no one shows up, I'm already composing my mass email to the coaches and other parents about how inconsiderate to not even show up at the weekly practice. As I'm pulling my self-righteous express out of the parking lot, I come across one of the coaches and ask him why there's no practice. "Because the season ended last month"...and in acceptance of my Mother of the Year award I'd like to thank the Academy and all my fans.
Wednesday
As I'm enjoying lunch with my husband, my cell phone rings and it's a number I don't recognize. And anytime a conversation begins with "Mrs. West?"....well, no good news has ever followed that statement. It was Daci's track coach. Daci had apparently not shown up for after school track tryouts on Tuesday. When questioned on Wednesday, Daci tells the coach that she doesn't want to be on the track team, but just wants to run during the period. The coach lets her know that the whole reason to be in athletics is to compete. So, super quick Daci tells the coach that she can't show up that afternoon because she had an orthodontists' appointment. I guess the grueling interrogation finally broke Daci, because she gave the coach my cell phone number. I was certain to advise the coach that Daci did not have an ortho appt and she would most definitely be at the tryouts. And to have Daci call Dad when she's done running.
Thursday
I honestly can't think of anything of note happening on this day. I'll remember something interesting after I've posted this I'm sure.
Friday
Holy hell, I'm glad it's Friday. Daci the Deceptor has a friend ride the bus home for a sleepover. It comes to our attention that Daci has misplaced (or traded for bubblegum for all we know) several pairs of jeans and a jacket. I call the school and leave a message that if all of Daci's clothes don't come home, then her friend can't spend the night. Well, she and the friend get off the bus with four pairs of jeans but no jacket. Dad calls and well, we gotta take the friend home until this jacket shows up. This jacket of course being a $75.oo SWEATFREAKINSHIRT. Lots of lecturing about responsibility and taking pride in our possessions. At one point as the mother, I realize I'm no longer using actual words, but the WAH WAH WA WAH WAAH of Charlie Brown's teacher. I offer to take her to another friends' house to see if the jacket had been left during another sleepover. Nope.
Saturday
Typical day of house cleaning. I had a hair appointment which was nice. My skunk stripe of gray hair down the middle of my head is SO not attractive, so after two hours in the beauty chair I again look a little closer to my 35 years.
Sunday
We go to church. I send Daci upstairs to pick up Corbyn and Byron while I get Rowie downstairs after the service. I wait in the foyer. Daci comes downstairs with Corbyn and Byron. Byron's not wearing his jacket. I ask Daci where it is and she says, "well, I didn't know he was wearing one"....this is February in the Texas Panhandle and there's still snow on the ground from the blizzard we had last month....uh yeah, he was wearing a jacket. So, I send Daci and Byron back upstairs to retrieve the jacket (see the pattern yet?). I send Rowie and Corbyn to meet Dad out front. After the appropriate "what the hell sorry Lord is taking so long" foot tapping, I trek upstairs and find Byron sorting through the Lost and Found box and Daci standing over the top of him telling him to hurry up. I come to the scene and escort Byron to his class to see if the jacket is in there. Standing over the top of the Lost and Found box Daci says, "Jeez Byron-just take a different jacket out of here and let's go." I nearly lost it at this point. After all, my daughter is now trying to convince my son to STEAL from the lost and found at CHURCH. At first, she said it was a joke. Then she said, "well, how important could these jackets be? They're in the lost and found. If they were that important, the kids wouldn't have lost them in the first place". I thought that perhaps humans are born with an innate sense of irony...apparently that skill isn't fully developed in the average 13 year old girl. So very calmly (through clenched teeth and in my son's Sunday school class) I tactfully remind this child that she has no right to call the little kettle black.